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Episode 26 "Bring Me Your Huddled Masses."

"James returns and weaves a tale of misery and mental illness. Also, T outlines his plans for America and his upcoming novel."

Ep26 Links:
Endless this infection (YouTube)
List of english prepositions
Jim Goad
Arthur Schopenhauer

Arthur Schopenhauer did not say:

"A woman preaching is like a dog’s walking on his hinder legs.
It is not done well; but you are surprised to find it done at all"

-Dr. Saml Johnson

"Love consists in overestimating the difference between one woman and another."
--George Bernard Shaw

Arthur Schopenhauer did however say the following:

"If anyone spends almost the whole day in reading...he gradually loses the capacity for thinking...
This is the case with many learned persons; they have read themselves stupid."

"We forfeit three-fourths of ourselves in order to be like other people."

"Marrying means to halve one's rights and double one's duties."

"Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they shall think."

"One should use common words to say uncommon things."

"A high degree of intellect tends to make a man unsocial."

"If children were brought into the world by an act of pure reason alone, would the human race continue to exist? Would not a man rather have so much sympathy with the coming generation as to spare it the burden of existence, or at any rate not take it upon himself to impose that burden upon it in cold blood?"

"There are 80,000 prostitutes in London alone and what are they,
if not bloody sacrifices on the altar of monogamy?"

-Arthur Schopenhauer

Episode 25 "Vampire Horses."

"Have you experienced true despair and horror in your life? Not until you've met Mike Dayton. The world will never be the same."

Ep25 Links:
How Manatees Were Mistaken for Mermaids
.30-06 Springfield

Episode 24 "Small Wonder."

"The boys reach into the mailbag and discuss ape rape, sea turtle rape, and parrot rape. Also, T gives his girl something to think about on vacation."

Ep24 Links:
Julia Roberts with Orangutan (YouTube)
Orangutans and Humans
Christina Ricci Sexually Harassed on Set by Chimpanzee
Reverse Bestiality: When Animals Commit Sexual Assault
How do you sex a crocodilian?
Rogue monkey accused of attempted rapes
Yorkshire Man "Raped" By Dog
Stalactites and Stalagmites
Sheets of virus generate electricity when squished
Jeff Monson... is an Anarchist
Small Wonder (YouTube)

Episode 23 "Small Clit Complex."

"Our buddy ol’ pal James drops by and brings with him the spirit of Marvin Gaye. Lend your ear and learn from 'The F.A.T.N. Guide to Courting and Cooing'."

Ep23 Link:
Cyborg One : Comics, Collectibles, and Games

Episode 22 "Nemesis Enforcer."

"The boys discuss North Korea, movies, breakfast cereal, and mull the dangers of compliments. Also, a revisit of polygamy, it isn't pretty."

Little did we know, H. P. Lovecraft moonlighted writing G.I. Joe file cards:

Ep22 Links:
Attack the Gas Station! (YouTube)
The VICE Guide to North Korea
Arirang Festival, Grand Mass Gymnastics (YouTube)
Dream Deceivers: The Story Behind James Vance vs. Judas Priest (YouTube)
Why are there no toys in cereal boxes anymore?
Wes Craven Presents: Dracula 2000
Flintstones: Winston cigarettes commercial (YouTube)

Episode 21 "Retinal Horrors."

"Gary and T once again plumb the depths of mediocrity. Gary's familias is discussed, and T expresses his love for federal standoffs and isolated compounds."

Ep21 Links:
Who does handle counterfeiting?
Austin Heat
Eye Floaters, Flashes and Spots
Joe Rogan vs. Wesley Snipes
Barnum's Egress
Ruby Ridge

Episode 20 "Eric Stoltz in blackface."

"T's brother Rob makes his return to mark the 20th episode, to the fanfare of none. Absolutely nothing of merit was discussed and recorded."

Ep20 Links:
Poland Spring
Quacker Factory
Jonathan Brandis
Alaska (Charlton Heston vs. Polar Bear)
Russ Meyer's Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! (YouTube)

Fighting crime in a future time...

Episode 19 "The Mundane Adventures of RoboCop."

"T hates technology, Gary loves video games, the sanitary benefits of colostomy bags, and RoboCop."

Some links for that phat ass:
Elephantitis (Elephantiasis) – Symptoms, Causes, Pictures, Treatment, and Prevention.
1981 Spaceport Employee Training Video Pt 1 (YouTube)
1981 Spaceport Employee Training Video Pt 2 (YouTube)
Killer Bees (Africanized bee)
Persian Gulf War
My Buddy & Kid Sister Commercial (YouTube)
Madballs Commercial (YouTube)
Mangalors - Quite possibly the worst action figure ever.
Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA)
MRSA Mangina (w/ video)

The legend you know. The adventure you have yet to imagine...

Episode 18 "Imhotep's Meat Loaf love." is up.

"Gary spins a yarn of infidelity, carnal desire, and forbidden love. T talks about cysts, coffin birth, and attempts to reclassify the podcast from "Comedy" to "Depressing"."

Links related to Ep18:
Join us, for the strange tale of... Condensation
Star of Life - a stamp of authentication or certification for ambulances.
Caduceus - sometimes mistakenly used as a symbol of medicine and/or medical practice.
Joseph Smith
Object sexuality
SUDS - Sudden unexpected death syndrome
Enterobius (The pinworm) - They emerge from the anus.
Dermoid cyst
Can blowing air into the vagina cause an embolism and sudden death? - 2nd question, 3rd paragraph (StraightDope.com)
And, ending on a high note:
Coffin birth
Episode 17 "I pissed on my pussy." is now available.

"It's a birthday podcast! The pair celebrate with Handfuls of broken glass, Edible finger paints, and Stew and tamales on the cheap."

If you're enjoying the podcast please tell some friends and take the time to subscribe, rate, or review on iTunes.

Links related to Ep17:
Penn and Teller's Bullshit - Astrology (YouTube)
Peanut Allergy - "There are, however, reports of airborne fragments from peanut shells causing reactions, although these may be rarer than popularly believed."
Indian cuisine
Cats in Chinese Food (Snopes.com)
Dog meat
Human Tamales
And, for those unfamiliar:
Polish Arm Wrestling (YouTube)
We're back bitches

Episode 16 "My CPU is a neural net processor." is up.

"The psychodynamic duo returns. Gary talks group lumber jacking while T plots grocery store revenge."

Here are some links related to Ep16:
1989 CATS Commercial (YouTube)
1989 Dianetics Commercial (YouTube)
Puberty - Physical changes in boys
Austrian Death Machine - I am a cybernetic organism (YouTube)
Hey ya filthy animals,

Lil' impromptu bonus podcast action available.

"We here in the F' all this Noise family believe in the true American family; and since you're our family, we'd like to wish you and your family a very happy holiday season and productive New Year. It's difficult sometimes to remember the most precious things in life: food, family, song, unprotected sex, family, and togetherness. We hope our little podcast has brought you and your family closer to us, as it has brought us closer to a blissful murder suicide. In celebration of these family values, we'd like to impart upon you and your family an impromptu stocking stuffer podcast containing literally tens of minutes of mildly enjoyable banter. Literally. Family."
- Gary 'n T
Merry Christmas scumbags!!

Episode 14 "Growing Kuato in Stuttgart." is up.

"Germans harvest foreskins, Stonehenge is irrelevant, and Gary gives no thought to avoiding whoredom."

Here are some links related to Ep14 which was just chock-full of bad information:
Auld Lang Syne
Shia LaBeouf action star (Google search)
Do some reading on stem cells
German 'Skin Factory' Uses Foreskin To Grow Skin Samples (Huffington Post)
British scientists ID source of Stonehenge rocks (NY Daily News)
*batteries not included (Full cast and crew)
Danny DeVito (IMDB)
Scrooge - 1970 (IMDB)
William Sadler (IMDB)

And finally, the Markie Post super femme Mullet:

Episode 13 "Jingle all the way to Jackman." is up.

"T gets a manicure from the Mossad and Gary is touched by Arnold Schwarzenegger."

Is that Old Dog Trey? Sounds like Old Dog Trey.
Episode 12 "Vampires from the holy land." is up.

"Immortality, is not a handprint in cement, an amazing body of work, or being bit by a Jew."

Don't just stare at it, eat it.
Episode 11 "Happy Thanksgrieving." is up.

"Occupy yourself with dragons, wizards and weaponized sex."

Here are some links related to Ep11:
Cannonball Run II (Full cast and crew)
Occupy Wall Street / We are the 99%
Picture Pages Theme (YouTube)
Episode 10 "Precious on the main stage." is up.

T's brother Rob drops in as our first guest, Gary finds Rob's friendliness threatening, and T gets drunk.

Sorry, no real links to come out of this one either.
Episode 9 "I powerbomb people." is up.

"Halloween is a freeloaders holiday and vocabulary flossin."

Enjoy you fucking animals.
Episode 8 "Journey to the center of the worst." is up.

"Gary returns home from battle, defeated and disgusted."

Here are some links related to Ep8:
Plane Crash Info
5 Real Hazards of Air Travel
Disney by the Numb3rs - Walt Disney World Resort
Scutigera coleoptrata AKA (urban / house centipede)
Nanking Massacre
Hello World,

There was an error with Episode 7 that has now been resolved.

If you downloaded through iTunes and Ep7 was the same as Ep6:
Delete the Ep7 podcast and then right click on the feed and click "Show all available episodes".
This will allow you to download Ep7 again and pull down the correct file.

Sorry about that. Let us know if you have any problems.
Episode 7 "Celebrate your joy in private." is up.

"The buddha of misery and a meeting with the king of eastern Europe."

A few people have said they wished they could call-in and interject. If you have any questions or comments you would like us to discuss on the podcast, you can e-mail us directly at:
We will read them and possibly discuss them in a future podcast.

Here are some links related to Ep7:
Top Tips for Finding Adult Drinks in Disney World
Gun laws in Florida
4 Things in Your House Dirtier Than A Toilet
Why Kids Curse
Penn & Teller: Bullshit! - Profanity (1-2) - YouTube
Penn & Teller: Bullshit! - Profanity (2-2) - YouTube
Episode 6 "52 minutes of Polygamy." is up.

"A tale of utopian pipe dreams and polygamist pessimism."

Here are some links related to Ep6:
How to Keep Your Dog’s Eyes Healthy
World peace
How the hippies of yesteryear turned into the yuppies of today
Real Life "Weekend at Bernie’s" in Denver
Bill Pullman vs Bill Paxton
Polygamy 1
Polygamy 2
Hey everybody. Episode 5 "Your PHD is worthless to me." is up and ready for download.

"Mindless banter and Gary hate numbers, T hate words."

Here are some links related to Ep5:
History of the light bulb
Invention of the telephone
Explorers of the Americas
How to Preserve Marigold Seeds From Your Garden
Puncturing the Acupuncture Myth

And just because we're huge fans:
The Walking Dead

"Personally, I enjoy working about 18 hours a day. Besides the short catnaps I take each day, I average about four to five hours of sleep per night."
-Thomas Edison

"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect."
-Mark Twain
Episode 4 "Dammit Jenny, I'm sweet on you" is up and ready for download.
Thanks for all the feedback.

"Brotherly love and Gary's fear of breasts."

Here are the links related to Ep4:
Legality of eating horse meat in the States 1
Legality of eating horse meat in the States 2
Purchase Reindeer sausage online
It girl

It was oddly challenging to find an origin to the phrase "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse"
There are three origins commonly given:
  • A horse is a large animal and one is hungry enough to consume its meaty wealth.
  • Horse meat is not thought of as being appetizing and therefore one is desperate enough to eat a horse.
  • Horses were so important to everyday life that your hunger has pushed you to eat this valued asset.
If you're able to hunt down more solid information, please feel free to let us know on facebook.
What is up fuckers. Episode 3 "Dreams aren't possible" is up and ready for download.

"Hallucinate yourself to heaven and the salting of ovaries."

If you're enjoying the podcast please take the time to subscribe, rate, or review on iTunes.

Here are the links related to Ep3:
Mind Uploading
Sociopath vs. Psychopath
Fertility and Intelligence
20th Century Death Tolls (Stalin)

"With savages, the weak in body or mind are soon eliminated; and those that survive commonly exhibit a vigorous state of health. We civilized men, on the other hand, do our utmost to check the process of elimination; we build asylums for the imbecile, the maimed, and the sick; we institute poor-laws; and our medical men exert their utmost skill to save the life of every one to the last moment. There is reason to believe that vaccination has preserved thousands, who from a weak constitution would formerly have succumbed to smallpox. Thus the weak members of civilized societies propagate their kind. No one who has attended to the breeding of domestic animals will doubt that this must be highly injurious to the race of man. It is surprising how soon a want of care, or care wrongly directed, leads to the degeneration of a domestic race; but excepting in the case of man himself, hardly any one is so ignorant as to allow his worst animals to breed."
-Charles Darwin
Episode 2 "A pile of rotten teeth and milk pus" is up and ready for download.

"A visit to the vet with pus in my milk while chasing the bug."

Thanks to everyone that's checked us out. The reviews have been pretty good so far and our plan is to stick with it. You can expect 1 episode every week or so, 2 week gap at the most, unless we get lazy. Thanks Fuckers.

Also, in an effort not to spread misinformation, here are a couple of links related to episode 2 of the podcast:
Milk Pus 1
Milk Pus 2
Apotemnophilia (Amputation Fetish)
Scratch that. It's already available through an iTunes search. Search for "Fuck all this noise" or "F' all this noise" and it should be at the top of the list.
Or just follow the iTunes link above.
What is up bitches! The podcast is now available on iTunes! Check out the link above for the direct page link. It's currently not searchable in iTunes, but should be in about a week or so. Also, episode 2 is in the can and just needs some final conversion and clean-up before release. Thanks for taking interest and checkin us out.
The RSS feed is now up and running. The Podcast has been submitted to iTunes and is under review.
Keep your fingers crossed.
Site is up, more info to come.
Recording has begun.
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